Finding Grace and Freedom: Beverly Casey's Enneagram Transformation

In this episode of The Real Enneagram, we had the pleasure of welcoming Beverly Casey, a graduate of the Scholars Program at the Institute for Conscious Being. Beverly, a mental health clinician from Cleburne County, shared her transformative journey with the Enneagram, which she began nearly 15 to 20 years ago.

As an Enneagram Type Two, Beverly discussed the challenges she faced before discovering the Enneagram, including feelings of chaos and the desperate need to please others. She candidly reflected on how her desire to help often stemmed from a place of need rather than genuine altruism, leading to burnout and strained relationships. However, through her work with Dr. Joe Howell and the Enneagram, she found a path to greater self-awareness and healing.

Beverly emphasized the importance of humility and grace in her life, noting how these virtues have allowed her to nurture her relationships without the expectation of receiving something in return. She also shared insights into how the Enneagram has positively impacted her marriage and family dynamics, providing a common language for understanding each other better.

In her professional role, Beverly has been able to guide other clinicians, fostering an environment of grace and calm in crisis situations. She highlighted the ripple effect of this work, as it not only benefits her colleagues but also the clients they serve.

Throughout our conversation, Beverly's passion for her community and her commitment to personal growth shone through. We discussed her creative pursuits, including writing and community theater, which have helped her reconnect with her joyful soul type.

As we wrapped up, it was clear that Beverly's journey exemplifies the profound impact of the Enneagram on personal and professional lives. We are grateful for her insights and the light she brings to her community. Thank you for joining us today, and we hope you found inspiration in Beverly's story.

To learn more about the Institute for Conscious Being, visit: theicb.info

Transcript

Scott:
You are now listening to The Real Enneagram, a podcast by the Institute for Conscious Being. To learn more about the Institute and its offerings, visit theicb.info. That's T-H-E I-C-B dot I-N-F-O. And now, here are your hosts, Dr. Joe Howell and Nanette Moodyum.

Nanette: Well, welcome back to The Real Enneagram, a podcast brought to you by the Institute for Conscious Being. I'm Nanette Mudiam, and I'm here with Dr. Joseph Howell. Hi. Hi, Nanette. How are you doing today? I'm very well, thank you.

Joe: I'm excited about this podcast.

Nanette: We're excited every week, actually. That's a consistent theme for us. We have had great guests and we're on week two of this podcast series and we know that we have great things in store for the rest of the season. So we're excited today, especially to have Beverly Casey with us. Hi, Beverly. Hi, it's great to be here. We're so glad to have you. Beverly is a local to the Institute. She's geographically nearby and we snagged her time today and excited to have her and she is a graduate of the Scholars Program with the Institute for Conscious Being and has really lived this practice out in her life. But Beverly, so the audience will kind of know who you are. Tell us a little bit about yourself, if you would.

Beverly: I'd be happy to. I am from Cleburne County, and I came to Joe as a client to work through some things. And I've been on this journey for, oh my goodness, my entire life. And when I came to Joe, I just realized I had come full circle. So I am a clinician in mental health counseling, and I am married. I have two children. I am active in my community. in my church and in some civic organizations. And I'm really, really pleased to be here because the Enneagram has opened my eyes to a new way of living and being. So I'm thankful for this opportunity to talk about it.

Nanette: Well, I'm excited to talk to you about it. You're an egotype too, and that's what we'll be touching on and focusing on today. But it's interesting to me that you work in mental health because we know that there's never been a greater time, maybe in our history, the greatest need we've ever witnessed for mental health services. I think there's value in that, in people realizing the need and not being ashamed to come forward. And we know that that is true of those who work in it, but also those who received it. And sometimes that's the same. So thank you for sharing so transparently already. So tell us how you found the Enneagram through Dr. Joe. I did.

Beverly: I did. Oh my goodness, it's probably going on 15 or 20 years ago now.

Joe: You have done so much study with the Enneagram that you've presented at our conferences. I have, I have. You have been kind of adjunct faculty at a time.

Beverly: Yes, yes. I came to Joe, like I said, in a time of what I thought was a mental health crisis and discovered that it was a spiritual crisis. And that through the Enneagram, I was able to work through some things and learn more about who I was and how I could live my life in a more true way and a more conscious way. And so it really has translated into my personal life, my professional life, just every aspect.

Nanette: So prior to this awareness of the Enneagram, how was your life as experienced as an Egotype II? It was chaotic.

Beverly: As an egotype too, when I am in a state of disintegration, I am desperately trying to please, trying to help others and do things for others, but it does not come from an altruistic place. It comes from a place of desperation and need. And so I found myself stretched very thin and going out of my way to insert myself into situations where I thought I could be a savior for someone when I, in fact, was just trying to gain love and acceptance from others. And I fell very short and I found out very quickly that I was in a state of crisis. because I could not continue that way. And it was affecting my relationships. It was affecting my family, my work. And so that's when everything, you know, came to a head, so to speak.

Nanette: Those ecotype twos, you find them in the back of any church, back there doing something for somebody or in probably behind the internal cogs of any big organization that is serving people whose mission is to help people. You will normally find a host of Worn out and tired too somewhere. Absolutely.

Beverly: Was that your case as well? It was. It was. The inability to say no. And people learn very quickly that you will agree to do anything that they ask. And it becomes a matter of not taking care of your own needs and being available to everyone.

Nanette: Are you the casserole baker or are you the butcher? What's your go-to show up with?

Beverly: I am that casserole maker. What can I do to make you more comfortable? One of the things that I find really funny is we were at a spiritual retreat for the Enneagram at one point, and we were gathering, getting ready to gather, and I found myself trying to take care of everyone at my table, trying to make sure that they had everything they needed. And, you know, others, they were not Enneagram type 2, so they were kind of looking at me like, you know, we got this. But I found myself doing that. So I'm always that one that wants to make sure you're okay.

Nanette: You know, it's I always feel like it's such a harsh indictment of twos. I mean, no, nobody likes to find their Enneagram type. I mean, I think we there's a there's a constant theme of shame and in all of us when we recognize ourselves. And and so pride is the Pride is the passion of the two. And I always feel like that's such a harsh thing. And I imagine that twos probably really don't want that to be recognized as being prideful, especially when they're trying so hard to be accommodating.

Beverly: Right. And when someone does call you out on that pride. It is very insulting because you become, oh, well, I'm doing this for you. I'm in service to you. That's my only my only outlet. That's the only thing that I'm trying to accomplish here. So. You're right. It is harsh, but it is true.

Nanette: And I don't mean to go down this rabbit trail further, but I always think that there's nothing scarier. There's really nothing, no ego type scarier than the ego type 8. Poor guys. But worse than an ego type 8 is a 2 who's disintegrated to a type 8. Because you just don't expect it, especially if they're not someone you really, really know. But that disintegration at 8 is so painful for a type 2 and those who, you know, live with them, love them. Can you tell I have some ego type 2s in my world? So I've had this experience before and it's so devastating for them to find themselves in that sort of disintegration.

Beverly: Well, it is and I can think of, you know, various examples in my history. of times when I have gone to that age and realized that everything I had been doing was not done from a place of true grace, true nature, true love. It was very self-serving. And I look back in shame, but then I recognize that, you know, that was part of my journey, part of my experience, part of my learning to come to consciousness.

Joe: And part of your healing. Yes, absolutely. It's a beautiful thing because you're Passion may be pride, but your virtue, which you've embraced so beautifully, is humility. Humility. Yeah.

Beverly: Yeah. And it took me a very long time to recognize humility in myself, because I was I guess you would say I was not ashamed of it, but I couldn't accept it. I wanted to deny that I was being a generous person.

Nanette: It's very hard to embrace the self-love and to give ourself credit for when we are better. I think maybe it's a little bit easier when we look back and see where we've come. We can easily usually own our past and our raging egos, but as we start to get healthier, sometimes it's still difficult to acknowledge that, hey, now we may be doing better, which is really great. You're humble about being humble. I try to be. So, you know, the beautiful thing about those in the heart triad is just really that they are so giving in relationships and they're such, the twos that I have are such nurturing friends and they really love you with their whole heart. And so you're such a gift to your family and community, I know. So how does really being led by your heart play out for you in your daily life?

Beverly: Well, in my personal life, it has given a new level of a new depth to my relationships with my husband, with my children, with my extended family, because I am able to give unselfishly. I'm able to be that nurturer and that person who is coming from a place of true giving. I'm not expecting something in return, and I'm not trying to exert control. So there is that piece where I said before that life was very chaotic. There's a certain level of peace that is there. Now, we are not a perfect family by any stretch, and we all have bad days. But what I have found is that on the bad days, you know, once you've gone to a conscious place, you really can't go back. You can, you can take steps backward and disintegrate in certain ways. But once you're aware, that awareness doesn't go away. And so on the bad days, I'm able to pull from that place that goes, you know what, you need to take a step back. And you need to reevaluate how you're responding to the people in your life. So that's been a gift.

Nanette: Yeah, once you see, you can't unsee. Once you come to that place of awareness, you're never going to go back from that. Absolutely. It's just something you carry forward with you. How has knowing the Enneagram, have you brought this information as well to your family? Everybody knows their type and does that help you in your family dynamics?

Beverly: It does. My children, not so much. My husband, however, he participated in a weekend retreat with Joe at one point and learning his Enneagram type was very helpful to us. Because we were going through a rough time in our marriage, and it helped us learn to relate to each other. Our responses to situations has changed. And again, on those bad days, we can both go back and look at what we've learned and come to a conversation about where we've been and wow, we know that we can handle this. And I attribute the Enneagram to that.

Nanette: Yeah, it does provide a language in order to have better conversations, certainly in conflict.

Joe: How do you like your holy idea?

Beverly: Well, I will tell you that as a healthy two, it's amazing. In an unhealthy place, accepting grace, it's just not easy. And it brings up a lot of uncomfortable feelings. But I love the idea of holy grace and holy will. and knowing that when I am giving and doing things from a place of true altruism, that I am just that conduit of God's love to other people. That gives me more peace and more joy than anything.

Joe: It gives you freedom.

Beverly: It does. Holy freedom. Yes, absolutely.

Nanette: And those are the three ideas for that I do. Do you have do you have a story that you that you feel like encapsulates how you have experienced your holy ideas?

Beverly: I've been thinking about that. And I do have I have a couple. One is a little more personal. So I think I'll kind of go with one that's more geared towards my profession and what I do in my work. Of course, I came to this work after coming to the Enneagram and realizing that I did have something to offer in the counseling world. And working in community mental health is certainly a challenge on many fronts, but I have come to a place where I am more in a supervisory role over other clinicians. And so I have been able to help guide them in ways that I think had I not been in this place consciously that I could not have done. Helping them learn new ways of approaching their clients and new ways of being giving in the clinician-client relationship without expecting instant results. And when things aren't going their way, recognizing it for what it is and just knowing that they are doing the work that they're supposed to do. So it's really helped me in that supervisory role to guide others that are in the clinician role.

Nanette: So the Holy Grace is flowing in what you're doing.

Beverly: And I feel like it flows outward to the others around me.

Joe: That's huge. It is. Think of the lives that, because of the ripple effect, are really understanding and bearing fruits from your supervision.

Nanette: Well, and not only that, I think, but experiencing this environment and atmosphere that you are able to create in consciousness, I think that is the ripple effect of raising the level of consciousness.

Beverly: It is, and that sense of pace. Being able in crisis situations, which, you know, in community mental health, we deal with crisis situations daily. And so in crisis situations, being able to come from a place of grace, it brings a calm, it brings a peace. And I feel like that has helped me tremendously to give to others in that clinical setting.

Nanette: Well, and that sounds like the aspect of not only the grace but the freedom to just be free in your decision-making and in your leadership to bring boundaries and guidance because you need both of those in mental health work, but at the same time to really minister to those people who are being sent your way. Yes. It's such a privilege and an opportunity. to do service for patients who are otherwise really, really rejected very often in their daily lives.

Beverly: Yes. And I will say that that has been something that I never pictured myself in this type of clinical setting. This was not a dream for you? It was not. And the more I have worked in this setting, the more I know that this is what I am meant to do, because it gives me that place to utilize what I've learned. And I think that I'm most effective there.

Joe: Do you ever teach some of the clinicians who you supervise? Do you ever teach them the principles of the Enneagram or does it just come through?

Beverly: It just comes through. We are very limited in some of the things that we are allowed to do at times. And so I do have, you know, private conversations and discuss these things. But I try to emulate it. And by demonstration, I hope that they will absorb some of that.

Nanette: I think even just the awareness of the Enneagram, even in working and talking with people who are not aware of it, you know, that they are motivated by some instinct, by some ego type and motivation. And so sometimes just your own intuition allows you to be wise in your interactions because you're aware of it.

Beverly: It allows an understanding. And I will never forget, Joe said something to me years ago, and it has always stuck with me, that it was involving a personal relationship. And he said, your response through your awareness will help you in this relationship. That person may never be aware, but because of your awareness, your reactions will always be different. So their reactions will gradually change because of your awareness, and they won't necessarily know that that's what it's coming from. And it's true. And so that is what I'm hoping occurs in my workplace as I share things.

Nanette: Yeah, that gives us hope because obviously we may not get the chance to instruct everyone on the Enneagram in our life, but I know it's helped me as well to have an understanding for other people and to recognize that they may be motivated and driven by different needs than myself. And that gives me a chance to work with them in hopefully a positive way. Yes.

Joe: What's it like for you to experience your soul type at four?

Beverly: Well, my soul type at four is joyous and creative and has a sense of newness and excitement about things. And in learning about my soul child and recognizing what I had lost, it was very, very eye opening and just that rediscovery of a creative part of myself that enjoyed writing and singing and dancing and drawing and painting and doing things that were, you know, kind of pushed down and I had lost all of that wonderment. And so that has really been a source of joy and peace for me. I can go to those things and I'm able to enjoy that soul child to its fullest.

Nanette: So, do you have hobbies, creative hobbies? I do.

Beverly: I do. I like to write. I do not publish anything. I just write for myself. I enjoy doing stage plays and community theater. I haven't done one in a long time, but I'm getting ready to venture back into that. I sing in my church choir and my community choir as well. So, I do a lot of things like that that bring me joy.

Nanette: You live in a pretty small town, Cleburne County is not known to be large. No. And a very tight knit community. I mean, Heflin always kind of makes me think of people who all know each other, you know, they're insiders only, you know. So how has it been to grow up? I assume you grew up there. I did. And to still live in a place you grew up?

Beverly: It has its ups and downs, of course. There's always that idea in a small town that things never change. You know, it's always going to be this way. It's always going to be that way. And I have noticed that in the last probably 10 years, there has been an awakening of sorts. And I think it's from a younger generation of people that are becoming more aware. and are more in tuned with themselves. And they are bringing that into the community and into the churches and into the places where people meet. It's certainly a small town. It's certainly some things won't ever change. But that has given me a renewed hope for the direction of our community and the people You know, people are coming into our community, moving from other places. So we don't know everybody anymore. They're moving there and retiring there, moving in to raise children there.

Joe: Well, you're a bedroom community for Atlanta.

Beverly: Yes, for Atlanta, correct. It's growing. It is. It is. So things are changing. And that awareness, I feel like it's always kind of rippling there under the surface. And I come in contact periodically with other people that have that awareness. And it's just, it's exciting. It's exciting to connect with someone.

Nanette: Yeah, it's always nice to meet with someone where you go, okay, well, we might be on the same wavelength. Exactly. Well, I think social media and obviously technology are causing us to be more connected and to be more they are. They are pitfalls, but there are there are positives and that is to be more connected and have more exposure to information. Even though you might be in a small town, we're part of bigger communities than we used to be. You're part of a very large local church as well, are you not?

Beverly: It's not a very large church. It's a very old church. In Heflin? Yes, in Heflin. I'm a part of the First United Methodist Church of Heflin. And we have a wonderful congregation. And I've just been, you know, we've been going through some difficult times in the United Methodist Church. And of course, in small churches like ours, there's always a struggle. We are blessed to be led by a wonderful pastor. She has been a blessing through it all. And so we've really, really come a long way in the way that we exist in our community and the way that we welcome people.

Nanette: there's still a need for spiritual community. Yes. Yeah. And I appreciate that you're still part of that and, and working with that group there. So I'm sure that they're blessed by that.

Joe: Well, I just because I haven't really seen you in a year or two. And I am Well, I'm impressed with the groundedness that I'm feeling from you today, Beverly. A deeper, not that you are not a confident person to begin with, and a very accomplished actress. You would never have said that on your own, but you've been in many plays. But today, I sense the ripening of someone who has given their life for the betterment of other people. And that groundedness is really coming through to me, that confidence.

Beverly: Well, I'm so touched by that, Joe. Thank you. Yeah, I like it. Thank you.

Nanette: It must feel like a rewarding experience for you, Joe, to see the many students from the Institute who, I mean, if we're honest, many of us you met through crisis, and that's how we came to connect to you and to the Institute. But in the end, that crisis ends up serving our spiritual growth, and you get to see the evolution of a hopefully healthier ego type. and an even greater blessing to see people reconnect with their souls, which I know is your real passion and desire. So that is a rewarding experience for you, I know.

Joe: Yeah. In fact, it's so funny, I was just thinking about that before you said it, that for Scott being over here, and for you, Beverly, and for you, Nanette, and me, the four of us, to be here, is really a meeting of four souls, because we're here not for selfish purposes. I mean, we could have all done other things. We were very busy. But we want to make sure that this wisdom is shared with as many people as possible because it's so life-changing. And I was feeling that symphony among the four of us. Scott, you've not said anything yet, but a lot of times you don't. But I was feeling you don't have to say anything because your soul is present.

Nanette: Scott's our producer and sound man. Say hello, Scott.

Scott: Hello, everyone. You are listening to the Real Enneagram podcast.

Nanette: It is the Real Enneagram. It's the Real Enneagram as we as we've come to really understand it and know the value of it being to reconnect with our souls, which I think is the truth that we're trying to hone in on. And out of our souls, really those those holy ideas and virtues, they start to manifest and I don't even think, I think when you first start to connect with this information, we've talked about this some, that it's hard, you're just trying to learn the words, like, what is my holy idea? Right. What's the lingo for this?

Scott: What's the lingo?

Nanette: really when you do the work, you start to experience it. And the words just really can go back and identify what your experience was. Because I think you find the truth of that to be grace and freedom and holy will for you. And it becomes not something you're working at the words, but you're living out the experience of your soul.

Beverly: Well, I'm thinking back, I believe I came to Joe, when I was around 35 or 36, I'm 53 now. And so I think about the knowledge that I've gained over the years and how different events in my life have been impacted by this knowledge and this wisdom. And it's very, very profound.

Nanette: Well, you get ears to hear and eyes to see and a heart to understand something that you, from then on, you started you, you called it said to me, but it's some of it is synergistic. It just kind of, it comes to you and you become aware of things. So whether it's something we're reading or something we're listening to or, or podcasts that we, that we stumble upon that continue to nurture that, that maturing of our souls. Yes.

Joe: A word that I was trying to use. for what I'm sensing today in you, in your soul presence, as the word seasoned.

Beverly: I like that, seasoned.

Nanette: a seasoned egotype too, I have a feeling is a big blessing to her community. So we just really appreciate the gifts you are to your family, to the town of Heflin, to your mental health patients and fellow workers. And so we just thank you for this work that you continue to do and are confident it's having lots of ripple effects. that we are all experiencing here today. So thank you.

Beverly: Thank you for allowing me to be here. It has definitely been a blessing.

Scott: Thank you for listening to The Real Enneagram, a podcast by the Institute for Conscious Being. To learn more about the Institute and its offerings, visit theicb.info. That's T-H-E I-C-B dot I-N-F-O. The music for today's podcast was composed and performed by ICB faculty member Drexel Rayford.

Nanette: Thanks for listening today. We hope you liked what you heard. If you did, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this with your friends and family.